Sunday, July 10, 2011

A BLEEPING COUGAR! life pretty much consists of my family, my house, my pets, my plants, and Facebook. Sad and pathetic, yes I know. But late lastnight RIGHT BEFORE BED, I read one of my posts about a cougar in Lisbon. Laying in a field. ...... I could go in all sorts of directions with this, but unfortunately, it was a real cougar - or puma - or mountain lion - or catamount - or big fast sneaky scary cat - however you wish to refer to it - in a town just about 7 miles west and north of where I live. It was spotted. And it's been stealing sheep. FUCKING SHEEP. Have you ever seen a sheep? They're not mean, in fact, they're kinda stupid. But they will headbutt a metal fence at a full on run if they're threatened.

So what do I do? I do what every rational, sane, person does for to-the-minute accurate information, I google it. "cougar sightings in Iowa." I find sightings from as recent as February 2011. In Iowa City.

Well here's my thought process:
"Is this a joke? He's joking. A cougar, that's silly. Are they bringing wine? haha" O_O "wait. This is a real cougar? A REAL mountain lion? OMG my children play outside. They can NEVER PLAY OUTSIDE AGAIN! But wait, they are nocturnal right? Of course they are. They're cats. (FYI not true) Oh crap. I have to go outside with the dogs now when they go potty. And carry pepper spray - no wait, I don't want it to get that close. An air horn. Yeah that's better. I'm sure the few neighbors that we have would really enjoy a 3 AM air horn blast. Well maybe they'd be OK with it if they knew there was a FUCKING PUMA in the area. I need a gun."
I kind of ran with this idea of a mountain lion and I assume it will come prey on my little family because we're the only ones in the town with small children and dogs. But still. It freaks me out. And we're surrounded by corn. But we are also right next to the highway with an active train track just on the other side of the highway. So...

But still. A FUCKING COUGAR! Maybe I'll bait it with some Chardonnay then spray it with my pepper spray right before I confuse it with my air horn.

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Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Broken Heart

Ok so I know that I complain about being "stuck" with my children, sometimes. But when I'm stuck with no hope of anyone coming to my rescue, I feel trapped, claustrophobic, like I can't breathe. But when my husband comes to me today after he's been mowing for 5 hours and says to me "My mom said she would take the kids so we could go run errands without them" I honestly felt my stomach drop. Not that Grandma isn't capable. But I will miss them. I love my children. How dare he make such a suggestion and plan without consulting me first?! Emme's been happy today. Brighton's been good. They've been silly and funny and I don't want to leave them.

What is wrong with me?

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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Fleeting Moments

As a parent, we all have those moments of clarity when we step away from the day to day diaper changes and t-ball games and general rushing here to there only to realize how quickly time really does go. I woke with a back ache, and moved Emme to her co-sleeper, and the memory of her so tiny and chubby flashed through my mind. Then Brighton's sweet little baby face, and I panicked. And cried. I will never have little babies of my own again. No more midnight feedings. No more tiny baby cuddling in my arms. I'm still nursing, but no more all around the clock. I do want my babies to grow up. The alternative is incomprehensible. But if time could just slow a little, that would be great.